A local Microphone has been found murdered in Muff, Donegal. Guardai are questioning Donegal Rapper Willy G, Known for his hit song ‘Turf’, The incident is said to have occurred early this morning around 5.30, in the MCs home studio. The microphone was brutally murdered with a barrage of sick multi syllable rhymes, including one punchline referring to ‘Lung Guns’ which would make competitors ‘Catch more slugs than a Beer Trap’ if ‘ Fucked with’. Local residents are distraught, some claiming to have heard the verse that fatally killed the Microphone.
We have obtained footage from the incident which clearly shows the Local MC delivering bars which can only be described as pure fire, viewer discretion is advised, as this is shocking footage and may upset members of the General Public:
Burial Details for the Microphone to be confirmed at a later date, The Hi Fi speakers and the Pop Shield will be accepting donations in Lieu of flowers,, while the Scarlett 2i2 recording interface is holding a wake in the studio tonight.
Local Microphones are warned to be on the look out for any suspicious activity , such as men wearing hoods and possibly carrying rhymebooks. Any Cyphers should be reported to local authorities, and Microphones are encouraged to stay indoors as Willy G is still on the loose.
If you hear any Metaphors or Double Entendres that rhyme, please do not hesitate to inform local Hip Hop Police on 1800-IMABALLBAG
Thanks for reading, this has been a pisstake .